S

Let me summarize how life has become even more difficult in the past 24 hours. First of all, Supermum lost her job yesterday. Just like that, my parents are both unemployed and we are uninsured come May. How can hard-working, honest, creative, energetic and thoughtful people be dismissed? What kind of mother-fucking, conservative, gun-toting jerks dismiss my mom, the most tolerant, easy-going person I know? I can’t wrap my mind around it, so I’ll leave it at that for now.
Secondly, I really like my nutritionist, but even I cannot fully appreciate one’s expertise when one tells me that I cannot consume starches of any sort for a month. After that month of letting my stomach and other organs heal, I can try and see how much starch I can tolerate.
This is all too intense to dwell on right now, so I’m signing off. I usually wouldn’t say something like this: but keep us in your thoughts.

87 Starting My New Routine

Ok. I’m starting my new routine of all around self care. There’s an OA phone meeting that I really like at 6:45 am this morning. I’m going to get some phone numbers from women who are at that phone meeting, and see what my options are. What these women with long term abstinence think regarding my slips. …

86 Amazing Tea, Amazing Meditations!

I just prayed and had some amazing Yogi Egyptian Licorice Tea… Tomorrow’s going to be a good day. Today’s Daily Motivator and The Language of Letting Go meditation are both really great. Highly recommended!

86 A Prayer For Willingness

I’m really struggling with the eating disorder. I had eight days of following my meal plan and then I had a slip. A three day slip that ended an hour ago. Basically it always goes like this…I put down the drink and the drugs, and I pick up another behavior. Sometimes it’s something that’s productive, …

85 Closer To God

I’m pretty tired. I went to two of my meetings and also got to the gym. Got to catch up with friends at my meetings. I think I really need to focus on praying tonight. I plan to pray for relief from my obsession with food, pray for relief from some of my resentments (and pray for the people …

83 Back To Recovery

So for the past few days I’ve been sitting in my resentments and feeling sorry for myself, and it hasn’t felt that good. It’s amazing how I always get exactly what I need in an AA meeting. Is that my Higher Power? I went to my coffee commitment at a women’s meeting I really love and we …

83 A Close To A Good Day

Well, I’m back in the swing of things. I got to my two meetings today, and did part of an OA phone meeting as well as applied for jobs, spoke to friends, and made plans for the weekend. I heard someone share in a meeting almost a week ago, but it was something that is …

82 Fear And Resentments

I had an interview this morning. I think it went well and I should be optimistic about things, but I haven’t been going to as many meetings as I normally do. I am filled with resentment and self pity. This is my normal pattern. It’s something I’m very aware of. My entire 82 days I’ve …

80 The Perfect Drug

So I went to my meeting this evening and the result was just as I’d expected. AA meetings do for me slowly what alcohol and substances used to do for me instantaneously. It’s amazing. I go and sit in a musty old church basement with about 35 men, most of them being over the age of 67, …

80 Easy Does It

Yesterday was a rough day. I was in my head. I was in the ghetto! “There’s gang activity in there, Elizabeth. Get out quick!” My sponsor would say. But I made the choice. Yesterday I decided to feel sorry for myself and to beat myself up for the things I had lost, mistakes I have made. I …

5k For The Joy Project

Want to be active and support a great cause simultaneously? Marissa Kuik, from the Legacy Christian Academy, has put together a 5k for her senior project and all proceeds will go to The Joy Project. Come support Marissa and The Joy Project at this fun event! When: May 30, 2015 Registration is from 7:45 AM …

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