80 Easy Does It

Yesterday was a rough day.  I was in my head.  I was in the ghetto!  “There’s gang activity in there, Elizabeth.  Get out quick!”  My sponsor would say.  But I made the choice.  Yesterday I decided to feel sorry for myself and to beat myself up for the things I had lost, mistakes I have made.  I truly believe that having a bad day, at this point, is a choice.  When I choose to not take action against this stinkin’ thinkin, I’m choosing to let my disease have more power.  Yesterday, for the most part, I chose to have a bad day and sit in my self pity.  Not picking up was the best I could do.

Today, although I’m not feeling that great, I’ve been active.  But I’m still in the ghetto.  I need to go to a meeting.  I have one planned for this evening, and I can’t wait until 8 pm.  I hate the phrase Easy Does It because it is such a difficult one for me.  I have a hard time Easy Doing It on anyone.  My expectations are high and so I therefore have few people who meet these unrealistic expectations and demands which make my relationships difficult.