I have never been what you would call shy. In fact, I do believe I came out of the womb telling it like it was. I wasn’t afraid of speaking my mind. As a child I was very secure with with who I was and had no problem proclaiming it to the world. I let […]

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I have never been what you would call shy. In fact, I do believe I came out of the womb telling it like it was. I wasn’t afraid of speaking my mind. As a child I was very secure with with who I was and had no problem proclaiming it to the world. I let everybody know that I wanted to be a movie star, liked Shirley Temples with extra cherries, never slept in my pajamas, and love the color baby blue.

It wasn’t until way later on in my life, that I began realizing that sometimes what you like in life, is not what everybody else likes. That what you find beautiful, a lot of other people will find ugly. If a bunch of other people like Red better, or Roy Rogers with no cherries, it makes your choices look different, perhaps even wrong, and that is when you start to compromise your values and beliefs.  You take your passions, your thoughts, and your beliefs and you stuff them deep in a closet and lock the door.That’s when you go out and cash in all your passions for a bunch of labels. They are labels that you don’t even like, but you hide behind them, for fear of being judged, ridiculed, or ostracized.
Society does a great job of making us very “superficial”. Suddenly it’s not cool to be organic anymore. Very few people are exactly alike, it’s what makes us a diverse culture. However when a dominant group of people share the same viewpoint of what is right or wrong, it makes a smaller group of individuals who don’t feel extracted.
There are by definition four types of values.
They are the ethical/moral value, the doctrinal/ideological value, the social value, and the aesthetic value.
They start to take form from an early age, and grow deep roots. Think back to how you were raised, and the environment and culture you live/lived in.For instance I was raised with a very strict religious upbringing. I was told what GOD I should believe in because that is what GOD my Mother believed in.
I had no other choice, nor any other influence to that until later on, after those doctrines had been deeply ingrained.
I also was taught morals and ethics in school and at home. I was told that it wasn’t acceptable not to share, not to say please and thank you, and of course what will get you in trouble etc. My mother raised me to think that looks where everything and that my education really didn’t matter. That a woman was defined by her weight, and not by her brain.                                                
It also doesn’t take us long to figure out what we as individuals like aesthetically, but as time goes by we lose track of what we really find beautiful, and often just bedazzle up the ugly.
As babies we are attracted to all colors, faces, shapes, and sizes. not even knowing what they are, or what they represent. We could be fascinated just as much with a Lego, as we could a train.
However as adults,we are more attracted to popular,shiny,new! Studies have shown that most people do not buy a car based on how it works, but rather on how it looks.
Case in point why you don’t see a lot of men driving Volvo Station Wagons to the office.
Social Values are where I think most of us take one big giant dive. That big huge jump off the cliff that everybody else is jumping off of. On the way to the bottom we have fashion, weight, sexuality,wealth, materialism, status, race, brands, etc. It doesn’t take us long to get to there,, because it’s really shallow at the bottom,however be prepared to get cut, because it is also very jaded. We liquefy ourselves so much and allow other people to pour us into tiny molds. We get stuck in them and at the end of the day forget who we really are, and what we really want the world to know about us.
One of my favorite quotes in the whole world is this one:
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. ~Henry David Thoreau
Maybe it’s because I have am getting older, or learned the hard way that trying to be something you are not can cost you everything.
I have no problem telling people who I am. I tell them the good and the bad.
How you ask? It starts with one simple word: vulnerability. Yep you have to first make yourself vulnerable to the whole world.
I’ll tell you How I did that next time!

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