I better write this down while it’s still buzzing through my mind: I don’t run to lose weight, I run to maintain a healthy weight. I heard that for people with gastroparesis, exercise is actually vital to prevent weight loss; the lean muscle mass and increased circulation is really important for digestion. When I first came upon this information my reaction was something like “If I don’t exercise I’ll actually lose weight? Cool!” My next thought was this: “Too bad, ED, I actually love exercise.”
I’m having a great time in the new digs: eating, wandering, exercising, gluten-free snacking and exploring. In this new environment I’m so much more hopeful. No one here knows the twisting and terrifying path that brought me here. People see who I am today – an athletic, young woman – no one has seen the emaciated version. Knowing this, I no longer need to compete with my former self. I’ve finally given myself the permission I need to move forward, to detach myself a little further from the eating disorder. I recognize that it is an incredibly powerful force in my life and I respect that. I realize that the severity of my disorder has scarred me. I know that restriction is my first line of defense, however faulty, in times of stress or crisis, but I’m also testing my other coping mechanisms and they’re proving useful.
Among the things I’ve found in Columbus today are: a natural foods store, which has one of the biggest gluten-free selections in the state; and a local running club, what an awesome way to get involved in my new community, meet people and learn my way around town!
That’s it for today. Hopefully there will be many more exciting stories over the coming days and weeks.