Live And Blogging

I’m back!

This past break from blogging has been fantastic. I haven’t worried about writing good posts for my blog instead of fillers, and I’ve been able to concentrate on some pressing family matters, as well as …

Dun dun dun…

Filming.

I can’t tell you much about filming for several reasons but will tell you more as soon as possible. What I can say is that I took part in a documentary and it was related to Eating Disorders.

It was a big decision to talk to people other than my family, friends and therapist about my Eating Disorder and how I feel about my body, but after seeking advice and considering it for a while I decided: I’m passionate about this. I want to raise awareness for binge-eating and the lesser known Eating Disorders and blogging is a way of doing that, but being in a documentary is another way. People shouldn’t have to suffer without knowing what they’re suffering from. Knowledge doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but knowing that you’re not alone really does help.

I wasted years trying to diet my way out of my disorder, when if Binge Eating Disorder and EDNOS would have been discussed on television or in magazines I would have been able to seek help sooner.

I’m sure I did the right thing, I feel confident (sort of) that I said what I wanted. I was clear on what I wouldn’t disclose, such as my weight, and the producer was very understanding.

I’m ready for negative backlash, there’s bound to be some people who try to convince me I’m fat and lazy and using my Eating Disorder as an excuse. I’ve reached a point now where, pardon my French – I don’t give a fuck.

I know there will be people who can relate to weight difficulties and yo-yo dieting, and since Binge Eating Disorder is the most common eating disorder, there’ll be people who can relate to that as well. And those are the people I want to reach, and if I can help raise awareness for binge-eating and compulsive overeating as well then that’s great.

What do you guys think? As someone who prefers not to leave the house because I’m embarrassed of my body, am I crazy to take part in a documentary?!

Hayley Emma

(Oh, and since I’m using my real name (Emma is my second name) I’m signing myself off from now on as Hayley Emma.)