Day 74-Sometimes Quickly, Sometimes Slowly….
Sometimes I feel as if recovery is not happening fast enough. Would I get better quicker if I constantly read the Big Book during my free time? If that’s the case, maybe I’ll begin doing that on a nightly basis before I retire for the night, because I never want to experience being a newcomer again. The pain is so real and so intense. This pain is unfamiliar because I haven’t felt it in so long. And it leaves just as abruptly as it comes-leaving me breathless and holding onto my chair.
I wish I had five years. I want my marbles back. Did I ever even have my marbles? I think I did…Ahhhh the old days. I wish it were then. I wish it were tomorrow. Why is it so hard to live in today? I’ve always wanted to be anywhere but here.
Today I spoke at a meeting. It was small and nice and it was exactly what I needed at the moment. At that time, I was in the moment and I was with my people. And nothing was moving too slow but time kind of stopped. And I felt completely at peace. Right where I needed to be.